Sunday, March 20, 2011

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

So it's your 18th birthday. Celebrate, go out and party, hit up the clubs, Get some $1 bills, smoke a cigar, and be a classy gentlemen in all your new found man class.
The clock hits 12:00 a.m. You are now 18! You are now a legal adult. You now have more responsibilities and liabilities. Your eyes slowly drift from the hands of the clock to your own hands. They are shaking. Is this anticipation or power surging from your very depths, coming forth to shower you in pure awesomeness. The minute hand clicks. Your hands continue to shake, but no mind-blowing powers have erupted thus far from them.
Your eyes slightly grow with the slight fear that you have not been chosen. Is it possible. No, you push the fear aside. It's something else, it has to be. You thrust your hands forward in various shapes and forms to try to get some reaction; lasers, fire, ice, lightning, webs, anything. . . Nothing works. The festering fear begins to grow. It feeds off of your new failure. It is turning into a monster so large that it will crush your dreams. Fear will take over hope and turn into reason. This reason will alter the way you think and can actually stop your inner powers from escaping the jail that is your body. I've seen this happen, it's a sad fate.
12:30. Maybe it isn't a hand power. That's always a possibility. You open your door and feel the night sky against your cheek and step into the darkness. The moon's full. It's beautiful, the biggest it will be in twenty years. You feel the moon's power being absorbed into you, you bend down and jump into the air. For a second you're flying. For a second that hope shoots past the fear, for a second you're a hero. But then you feel the hard truth of the ground beneath your feet. Did you jump higher than normal? Your eyes were closed, you couldn't tell. You jump again to see. No, it was a normal jump. The fear slowly begins to creep back into the hope. Flying's out, but there are still other possibilities. Throughout the rest of the day, you try everything. You try super speed, super strength, teleporting, invisibility, mind reading, invulnerability, element control, bone claws, super luck, etc. . . Nothing has worked and the day is coming to a stand still. As you lay down in your bed exhausted and defeated, almost fully overpowered by the fear, the clock ticks 12:00 a.m. Your birthday is over. You weren't chosen. . .
WRONG! Do you know how many times this happens to people? To answer my own question, ALL THE TIME! You have nothing to worry about. If you know you were chosen, your probably chosen. If I had a nickel for how many times' 18th birthday's have come and pass and the appearance of normality resumes, I'd have a large stack of nickels.
Yes, it is true that the majority of chosens' do get their powers on their 18th birthday. The 18th birthday, the time when a boy becomes a man, and when a chosen becomes a hero. While it is the most common transformation, others exist. For instance a lot of chosens don't get their powers for several days following their birthdays. No one knows why, but it happens. This usually happens with time powers.
Still, there is a third occurrence. This occurrence is random. It could happen in a week, after your 18th birthday, or fifty years. I've seen both. This is the rarest occurrence, but it is also gives birth to the most powerful powers. In most cases it is birthed in times of heightened emotion. Usually fear or love. It usually happens when you find yourself in a situation which it seems only death can save you, but then. . .
I once knew a guy that was visiting the zoo with his girlfriend, when he fell over the railing into the gorillas exhibit. Next thing he knows, he's having a fist fight with a 550 lb. beast. So to all of you who have had your 18th come and go, don't worry. You know if your chosen. Don't let the fear overpower the hope. Stay strong and be brave. Your day will come.

Happy Birthday

Monday, February 14, 2011

The life of a superhero can be rough.

Every superhero needs a day job. This job serves two purposes: first it keeps up the appearance that you're just an average run of the mill guy and second it brings a steady income.
"Why would a superhero need money though? I mean for pete's sake they have superpowers."  We're just like everyone else, we need food, we need gas, we like to party and who knows how often a damsel just out of distress will offer a reward. Even if they do offer a reward as thanks, it is superhero policy to turn down the offer at least three times. We have to keep up appearances.
Now when I say that the life of a superhero can be rough, I'm not talking about having to go out and occasionally get your face kicked in or have your powers backfire(thats always embarrassing). While that's rough too, I'm talking about the sleep to work ratio. The average person sleeps 7 - 8 hours a night,  now let's calculate how much sleep superheroes get.
There are 24 hours in a day.
Let's say superheroes work 50 hour, 5 day weeks. Thats 10 hours a day.
That leaves 14 hours in the day.
Just because we have superpowers does not mean we can fly to work. With traffic, let's say it takes 30 minutes to get to work. Thats 1 hour a day.
That leaves 13 hours in the day.
Superheroes have to eat, so lets see: breakfast can be on the go, 10 minutes. lunch will be with coworkers, 30 minutes. Dinner will be with the family, 45 minutes. Thats 1 hour and 25 minutes a day.
That leaves 11 hours and 35 minutes in the day.
Now we can't go out until 11 o' clock or else we would look silly and we can't leave while our family's are awake. So work start's at 8 a.m. we get home at 7:00 p.m. (taking into consideration driving and lunch break.) Let's just say we eat dinner right when we get home to 7:15, this leaves 2 hours and 45 minutes till 10 o'clock. This time is categorized as family time. Now from 10 o'clock to 11 o'clock, we put on our suit, and stock up our utility belt. Contrary to Hollywood's misconstrued views of superheroes, we cannot get dressed in the confined space of a phone booth in 1 second flat. It takes time. All of this from getting home to getting dressed is 4 hours a day.
That leaves 7 hours and 35 minutes in the day.
Now the average superhero goes on patrol for 4 hours. This leaves us with getting home at 3 o'clock in the morning.
That leaves 3 hours and 35 minutes in the day to sleep.

The life of a superhero can be rough.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

X-Men: First Class

The summer of superheroes awaits. Oh yes, get excited for four action packed superhero movies from both DC and Marvel. The lineup is as follows:


  • - Thor - May 6, 2011
  • - X-Men: First Class - June 3, 2011
  • - Green Lantern - June 17, 2011
  • - Captain America: The First Avenger - July 22, 2011


My expectations for these movies are pretty high and I'm looking forward to them.
I've never been a huge fan of the X-Men series. I like them, but I've never loved them. The first movie was really well done, but then it was downhill from there. Especially with Origins. I mean what on earth was the deal with Deadpool. He couldn't talk, that completely ruined his character.

And then a couple months back I see this picture
and the only thought that went through my mind was, um . . . well that's gonna suck. Since then I haven't even thought about it. I had been thinking to myself that only three good superhero movies are going to be released this summer.
Then out of the blue, a trailer was released for X-Men: First Class and a friend of mine told me to go check it out. I checked it out, preparing myself for something as grotesque as Origins, but instead was pleasantly surprised. I don't know a lot about X-Men, but honestly this trailer looks badass! Check it out and enjoy, I am now looking forward to this movie.

Friday, February 11, 2011

The Future of this Blog



Let's say you're cooking yourself a nice breakfast on a Saturday morning and you ask yourself, "hmm, how does Superman like his eggs? and better yet, how does he cook them?" If these or any other questions involving superheroes and breakfast foods have ever crossed your mind, then this is the blog for you.

The basic point of this blog is for me to share my views about superhero stuff, breakfast, and just some random stuff that I may like and want to share. 




So why Batman? why breakfast? Well first of all Batman is my favorite Superhero. He's awesome and that's that. Secondly breakfast is amazing and by far the best meal of the day; so the two fit together nicely.

To get a feel for how awesome Batman is . . . 



and to get a feel for how awesome breakfast is . . . 


More superhero news in the future, but for now here is the Strokes new single: Under the Cover of Darkness -